August 24, 2005 - 3:56 AM EDT

And the person most shocked and wrong-footed by this directive was the Aussie Prime Minister himself who once famously referred to US President George W. Bush as ‘mate.’ The day that he ever refers to Queen Elizabeth as a ‘sheila’ will surely see Australia become a republic overnight.

Rumours are circulating that the following much-loved colloquial greetings may soon be banned in the Aussie corridors of power:

drongo(= a worthless or stupid person)

banana bender (= a resident of Queensland)

bludger (= a lazy person, layabout)

pommy ******* (= an illegitimate English person)

dag (= dirty lump of wool at the back end of a sheep; also a socially inept person)

sandgroper (= a resident of Western Australia)

septic (= an American; from ‘septic tank’ which rhymes with ‘Yank’)

feral (= a hippie)

cook (= a person’s wife)

wombat (= somebody who eats, roots and leaves)

September 7, 2005 - 3:23 PM EDT

Gah! Say it ain't so. I was looking forward to being referred to as a "feral septic" next time i visit Aussie parliament.

This reminds me of the Disney World rule that employees are not permitted to point with one finger because it's considered "rude". They have to indicate direction with two fingers, or an open palm. IMO, it would be easier to make them carry big cardboard arrows.