mis
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: "Last Night I Dreamt Of A Bagel"

"And so-and-so produces mediocre theatre!" -- David Wenham

Here's a summary of my Mediocre Theatre Weekend:

1. "Bug". I went to see a regional theatre production of this on Saturday. The story, which takes place in a motel room, involves sexually-transmitted paranoia, blood, self-mutilation, insanity, blood, drugs, blood, blood, and tiny insects implanted by the Army. The play was performed by nude actors who, at the end, douse themselves with gasoline and drop a match. On the way out, I overheard one patron mutter "Well, they won't be making a musical out of THAT one."

2. "The Brothers Grimm". OK, I have loads of respect for Terry Gilliam, who's done some brilliant work in the past, but this was a real mishmash that lacked soul, focus, and direction. A few stunning visuals, bland dialogue, not much in the way of plot. It felt like Gilliam's usual flights of tall-tale creativity were being restrained by budget and commercial restrictions. Did "Lost in La Mancha" break him? I hope not. Heath Ledger was good as the socially maladjusted, introvert brother.

3. "The Simpsons", which used to be one of the funniest things on television. Last night's season premiere was even lamer than the Australian episode (still considered the gold standard of horrid, shark-jumping Simpsons shows). The narrative had something to do with Homer paying off Mafia debts by allowing Fat Tony to shoot a porn video in his house, which caused Marge to leave and join up with a Save the Manatees organization. I didn't laugh once. Not even a wan chuckle. This was followed by.......

4. "The War At Home". Worst.Show.Ever. DO NOT WATCH THIS. The remote was lost somewhere in the couch and I was mesmerized by its sheer awfulness. No stereotype was too crude, no potty humor too lame to shoehorn into the dialogue. The basic plot: Blue-collar dad's world is under assault by modernity. His daughter is dating....gasp!...a black guy. His son.....gasp!....is ambiguously gay. His wife....gasp!....used to go out with black people and...gasp!....smoke cigarettes. Whoever wrote this show clearly hasn't been outside in a long, long time.

I found myself thinking, "They cancelled Firefly for this?"