Mood:
accident proneNow Playing: "Take Five" - Chet Atkins
Dialogue of the week:
So anyway, my episiotomy tore.
-- the very first words spoken to my sister by the new school secretary as she breezed through the door for her first day on the job
Our new sex swing is only rated for 400 pounds, and I guess it must have pulled the stitches out.
-- the very next words spoken to my sister by the new school secretary
And your name is -- ?
-- my sister's response
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't introduce myself. My name is Angie.
*****
Weird...I have this strange blank spot in my memory, where the previous blog entry should be.
And why are my knees and elbows sticky?
And what's this pattern burned into the grass of the back yard? It looks kind of like this:
So anyway...(as my sister's secretary would say)...Hugh Jackman says that David is the funniest man on the planet, and today I intend to back up that statement with an abundance of amusing Daisy quips. Lie back, relax, and think of England.
"My life at the moment is a bit like my wardrobe. Organised chaos."
"Do I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror admiringly? Absolutely, I say, tongue in cheek."
"My horse hated me...I had ridden horses before and had no problems, but right from the start we never got on. It was a tense relationship. He was quite stroppy and always glad to get back to his trailer. Everyone thought it was funny but me.''
"I haven't done Gough [Whitlam] for quite some time, but I had the privilege to sit next to him some time ago. I was at a charity function and one of the items up for auction was a paperback book that Gough had written. I'd obviously had a couple too many during the evening and my hand just kept going up. It wasn't really in conjunction with my brain at the time. Eventually the hammer came down and they said, "Sold! To David Wenham!" for an undisclosed sum that was a month or two of my wages. Gough could not control his mirth at the price somebody was paying for a paperback of his book. So I leaned across to him and I said, "A bargain," which gave me a great deal of joy. He laughed for about 10 minutes. I still haven't paid off that loan."
"We've had the spaghetti western - this is the 'baklava western'."
"It wasn't until SeaChange that my mum finally stopped reminding me I should never have left the NRMA."
"I was very comfortable, even though I was dressed in leathers. Rolling around in the dirt and whatever - I took to it like a pig in mud."
"I must have had a very deep voice at the age of seven."
"It was only afterwards in the forum when somebody asked 'What was it like with all of us here watching you in the nude?' that it really hit home. I thought 'Gee, you were too, you dirty dogs'."
"When Murray uses a broom and a chair to fix a roof that's about to come down, you know that he hasn't watched any of the 800 renovation shows on television."
"If I'm the new Russell Crowe, does that make Russell the old Russell Crowe? You know, I think he'd like to be Russell by himself."
"We didn't earn much money but I did win many chooks and meat trays throughout New South Wales."
[David] pauses to exclaim at a pair of teenage boys in T-shirts and board shorts, who he says have just passed by him, lighting enormous cigars. "God," he remarks, "this is a strange place."
