Mood:
lyricalI admit it: I love snark. I try not to incorporate it into my daily weltanschauung, but once in awhile, there's nothing like a good splashing wallow inside the bilge tanks of pop culture. Snark is a guilty pleasure.
So, if you secretly enjoy 300 reviews that are utterly hilarious, profane, and snarky, don't miss this assessment by Cav Gallagher. Best quotes: "I messaged a friend straight after I saw the movie swearing that it had made me 0.239% more gay than I had been before I walked in there" and "I'm patenting 'Shout-a-Longa-300' right now".
And, since Guilty Pleasures is today's topic, here's a list of some other guilty pleasures. What are yours?
1. Bread (the rock group). "Baby, I'm-a want you" hurts my delicate grammar glands. "If" sounds like it was recorded 35,000 feet under the ocean. And yet...I've owned "Bread's Greatest Hits" in two different formats (cassette and CD), and the songs continue to metastasize inside my iPod. There is no cure.
2. Snocaps, small dark chocolate nonpareils. I hardly ever eat candy, but once in a blue moon I'll buy an $8 box at the movies. They're tiny, crunchy, and endlessly entertaining. As a bonus, you get an avalanche of little white pebbles in your lap after the box is empty.
3. Watching Faramir Get Abused By His Dad. Whoops, was that out loud?
4. Electric Light Orchestra. I adore ELO, in all its cheesy synthesized extraterrestrial glory. But only before Jeff Lynne started doing the paisley vest and cowboy boot producer thing in the mid-80s.
5. Archie Comics. This is more of a childhood guilty pleasure. I've always been fascinated by the perpetual tic-tac-toe diagram branded onto the side of Archie's head, as though he recently took a nap on a griddle.
What's Archie saying here? No idea. It's Greek to me. (Possibly this is an early prototype of Frank Miller's 300. Dilios yelling at King Leonidas: "What's my girlfriend doing in your Five?")
6. Beverly Hills 90210. Ah yes, I was glued to this show. House fires, cocaine addictions, Donna's abusive singing boyfriend, Dylan cooperates with the CIA, Steve makes out with a transvestite. Memories. Misty, water-colored memories.
7. Mambo #5. Against my will, I like this song. No, I hate it. I really, really hate it. Now it's stuck in my head.
