Getting in touch with one's Inner Carl
Mood:  caffeinated

Once in awhile, I dream up new inventions (literally, while I sleep).   Last night's dream invention was an accessory called the TastePod.  Similar to the iPod, the TastePod will allow you to upload food flavors and then sample them any time, anywhere.  Instead of headphones, it comes with a little straw thing that you put in your mouth and suck on.  In the dream, I had the TastePod connected to a jar of grape jelly and a chocolate bon-bon with a mystery center (probably kumquat), and was uploading their flavors to my Dessert Play List.

Now, this product may sound revolting, but I believe it would have many practical applications.   The dieters' and ex-pat market would be huge.  If you've ever lived in a different country for a period of time, often you develop severe cravings for certain foods from your native land.  Maybe you find yourself craving kiwi in Kamloops, kippers in Kansas, or yearning for a ham sandwich and a shot of vodka in the middle of Riyadh.  With the TastePod, you can indulge yourself without offending your Muslim hosts or spending a fortune at a foreign foods specialty store.

The second practical use for the TastePod: preserving the tastes of long-gone foods from childhood.  I don't think I could actually bring myself to eat a Space Food Stick or a bowl of Kaboom cereal, but I sure wouldn't mind tasting them again and reliving hyperactive Saturday mornings of yore.  Similarly, Grandma's apple pie could be digitally archived for future generations to enjoy.

The third practical application: partaking of expensive meals on a budget.  For a few dollars, you can download Emeril Lagasse's latest e-meal from the iTaste website (and skip the rack of lamb if it doesn't sound appealing), dine at the Commander's Palace in New Orleans without leaving your living room, or balance out the $1.99 meatloaf special from "Heimlich Pete's Greasy Cauldron" with a mouth-watering infusion of virtual Chateau d'Yquem sauternes.

Even antisocial types can find things to love about the TastePod.  Instead of blasting rap music from your car, you can blast the scent of liver 'n' onions.  (Stick it to The Man!)  Punk aficionados will revel in the shuffle feature:  root beer/goat haunch/Altoid mint.

In the interests of full disclosure, I feel I should mention that this entire TastePod dream was set aboard a naval destroyer in the South Pacific.