How Sweet It Is To Be Shot By You
Mood:  hungry

I just had to share this with you.  It's a priceless rendition of "Sweet Baby Luke", written by pengwyn, and it made me snort tea all over the desk.  She notes, "It probably won't make any sense to you unless you've seen Dust and know the song Sweet Baby James (I like to go for the smallest possible demographic)."   Feel free to hum along!

***

There is a young cowboy that lives in the hills,
The Gospel of Luke is his only companion
As he rides through some wild Macedonian canyon,
Robbing and looting with filthy mercenaries...

As the moon rises, he sits by the fire,
Thinkin' about flashbacks and brothers with guns;
Closing his eyes as the fellows retire,
Cuddling with young sheep or sucking their thumbs,
It's then very softly he hums:

Goodnight, you red-light ladies,
Rockabye, Sweet Baby Luke,
Gunfights and brothels
Make life seem less awful,
And sometimes I drink till I puke,
Then rockabye, Sweet Baby Luke.

Now the pruney old lady, as she tells the tale,
A saintly young woman perturbed our bold hellion,
And he threw all his gold on a ripe watermelon,
Shot up the bad guys and made a heroic stand...

There's a song that they sing in that poor messed-up place
Of a strange blue-eyed hero who turned back to die;
It's true that he plugged Teacher's wife by mistake--
Well, martyrs-in-training can't get everything right.
But we'd rather take him alive,

Singing Goodnight, confusing ladies,
Rockabye, Sweet Baby Luke,
I'll bite the dust
As my fate says I must--
(Chorus of Fanfic Writers, Fazgul, etc., breaks in) Or perhaps he'll
survive by some fluke,
And we'll rockabye Sweet Baby Luke!