Mood:
smellyI came across an interesting term today: "foefiction". Apparently, it's the opposite of fan fiction. In foefiction, you write about characters you hate.
Now, I would have a hard time coming up with books or movies to write foefiction about. If I fail to warm up to a book, it's usually because the main characters are two-dimensional and totally subordinate to the plot (*cough thedavincicode cough*). By definition, they just wouldn't be very interesting to write about. Who wants to read Silas Marner slash?
It could be that foefiction is a form of artistic revenge, where the object is to write characters that are more rounded and believable than they were in the original work. More often, it seems to be an excuse to electrocute, torment, and beat up despised characters.
Oh, wait a minute. That happens a lot in Faramir fanfiction, too.
*abrupt subject change*
Close your eyes and take a nice, deep breath.
Step into an alternate universe for a moment.
Now, imagine that there is a school for aspiring David apprentices. Call it the Shaolin Kung-Fu Daisy Monastery. Here, young postulants practice for hours on end, trying to attain transcendent hair. Thick, luscious, tufty hair. Hair with Buddha-nature.
Now, imagine that one of them is competing to be a pirate on a reality television show. (This is a very alternate universe.)
Will he be voted off the ship (or keelhauled, or whatever they make contestants do*) for not having real pirate hair? Or does Daisy hair win at everything?
And with that, I'm off to write some "Pirate Master" foefiction.
*Remember, kids: don't watch reality TV. If you want to be entertained by amateurs, go outside and watch your neighbors toss pasta out the window.
BONUS JOKE:
How do you know you're a pirate?
You just arrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
