Mood:
lazyThey both have beards, they both wear capes, they both carry swords, they both survive terrible one-sided slaughters, they both got severely beaten by the Sexy Stick. And yet their characters are very, very different. How can the casual viewer tell Dilios and Faramir apart?
Here's our handy side-by-side comparison, done in classic Goofus-and-Gallant* style.
*Explanatory note for non-US readers: Goofus and Gallant are a pair of morally contrasting brothers from Highlights, a children's magazine beloved of dentist waiting rooms across America. Goofus, whose barbed hairdo juts threateningly from his forehead, is clearly headed for a career in the slammer unless he stops grabbing fruit, lays off the steroids, and learns to be polite to his friends like his brother Gallant. This is how Brett Sprague got started.
Anyway, on with our feature presentation: FARAMIR vs. DILIOS
Faramir sees a dead soldier from the East. He says: "The enemy? His sense of duty was no less than yours, I deem. You wonder what his name is...where he came from...and if he really was evil at heart. What lies or threats led him on this long march from home, and would he not rather have stayed there, in peace?"
Dilios sees a dead soldier from the East. He says: "Obviously, a major perv. He wore earrings, had tentacles growing out of his back, and took part in omnisexual goat orgies. His mother wore army sandals. Plus he was a total wuss. Let's stab him again."
Faramir says "It belonged to a young boy of the city...A very foolish one, who wasted many hours slaying dragons when he should have been attending to his studies."
Dilios says "It belonged to a young boy of the city-state...A very foolish one, who wasted many hours studying and reciting poetry when he should have been drinking the blood of his enemies."
(Um. Let's pretend he's handing down his childhood cape here, not his childhood codpiece.)
Faramir yells, "NAZGUUUUUUL!"
Dilios yells, "HA-OOOOH-WAAAAH!"
Dilios tells stories by the campfire.
Faramir is the campfire.
