Dessicated Coconut

Going to Oz-giliath: Special David Section

The following word definitions are inspired by various characters and projects with which David has been involved.  Pronunciations may vary by region.
Contributors:  lhaewin, make_it_stop, meaningofhaste, pengwyn, princessfaz, Rhetta, Rosie, sh_wulff
* * * * * * * * * *
300 Dollars  (n.) After a fatal shopping spree at the Edam Emporium, in which Eddie's wallet is surrounded and outnumbered by foreign cheeses, only one dollar survives to tell the story. [make_it_stop]
After De Luge (n.) Remember the Jamaican bobsled team and the movie "Cool Runnings"? Well, this was the sequel.  [make_it_stop]
Answered by Friar (n.) responses to questions from Van Helsing.  [Rosie]
audreyllionth (n.) (1) a mathematical expression of the amount of DW's screen time in Moulin Rouge as a fraction of Nicole Kidman's (2) any absuredly tiny amount: "I only spent an audreyllionth as much time on my homework as I should have." [pengwyn]
Basilica Stare (n.) Carl becomes obsessed with a nun, and stakes out the convent across the street with his magnifying headgear. [make_it_stop]
Basilips (pl. n.) a pair of attractive but rarely remarked features located not far below the Blazing Blue Basilisk Stare [pengwyn]
Basilisk Share (n.) To lend a copy of a hard-to-find DW film to a friend. [make_it_stop]
Brett get frustrated and lash out physically..used mostly in the negative ie now. don't you brett, young man... we have no need for that!  [sh_wulff]
Brettification project (n.) a program for the enhancement of an underdeveloped area by the addition of handmade wooden coffee tables [pengwyn]
Brettless (n.) that odd, empty feeling you have when the eldest Sprague brother departs, after partially strangling you [pengwyn]
The Carl of the Wild (n.) a novel by Jack London, long suppressed by a secret and lethal conspiracy of the Church (of course--it's got a million of 'em), in which an eccentric friar is sent to the Yukon to minister to a batch of rough, tough gold miners and their huskies, and gradually discovers his powerful inner nature beneath the trappings of civilization [pengwyn]
Carliflower (n.) a peculiar-looking vegetable that's actually quite good for you--but it refuses to grow anywhere near viscous material [pengwyn]
Carling iron (n.) medieval instrument of torture that causes the ends of the victim's hair to flip up in a painfully silly fashion [pengwyn]
cyn (v.) to have lascivious thoughts re redheaded men
That photo of Mark waldman just makes me want to cyn  [sh_wulff]
Daised (adj.) Overwhelmed by a good acting performance.  In a state of awe.
Wow, was I ever daised when I came out of ROTK.  [make_it_stop]
Damien (phonetic) - Dame Ian. Gandalf in pantomime.  [Rosie]
Dankerchief (n.) A rag that serves no apparent purpose but is casually knotted around Diver Dan's neck, thus inspiring more searing envy than any other rag in Australia. [pengwyn]

Davideo (n.) Any film or TV project that has been Touched By A Daisy.
Hey, let's pop in a Davideo!  [make_it_stop]
Daviridian (n.) the ineffable shade of blue-green that is one of the colors of his eyes [pengwyn]
DeBrett (n.) a police maneuver that involves removing said Sprague brother from the premises  [pengwyn]
DeBrett's Peerage (n.) Annual publication for upper-crust sociopaths which lists correct forms of address ("Hey Youse"), hierarchy (ockers outrank bludgers), and annual social events (parole hearings, bottleshop robberies, etc.)  [make_it_stop]
Della Biscuit (n.) a sweet but complex and unusual delicacy, something like a crumpet but with more appeal to thoughtful dessert-lovers. [pengwyn]
della busker (n.) one who theoretically plays a musical instrument, say on street corners or in subways or in a juice bar, but has never actually been caught performing on anything but air guitar. [pengwyn]
delugional (adj.) (1) experiencing vivid flashbacks that function as asides to the audience but confuse innocent bystanders; (2) slang crazy: "If you think you can play the violin just by holding it up and wiggling your fingers, you're delugional." [pengwyn]
Diver Dan Gogh (n.) Pearl Bay artist renowned for his still lifes of cappucinos, boat engine parts, and local peasant surfers. {make_it_stop]
Diverdanticulitis (n.) an inflammatory internal condition caused by attempts to swallow whatever line Dan has decided to spin today [pengwyn]
DI-versity (n.) a sort of institution of higher learning with a highly individualized curriculum that includes Marine Biology, Gourmet Cooking, Foreign Languages, Music Appreciation, Being Boundlessly Sexy Though Somewhat Annoying, and Things People Don't Expect You To Know. Course of study concludes abruptly with an open-ended term abroad. [pengwyn]
d-lust (n.) the emotion that one gets from watching Dust too often  [sh_wulff]
Doyley Carte (n.) A chart on opera singers, written in French, and done in the style of Jim Doyle i.e. on a table cloth.  [Rosie]
dysalexia (n.) attention-related disorder that causes difficulty in reading the writing on the wall [pengwyn]
Eddie Barneyvey (n.) Giant purple dinosaur who shows children how to rummage through trash for moldy garlic bread. He loves you, and you love him. [make_it_stop]
Edenethor (n.)  A dad who not only hates Faramir, but has him flogged regularly. [make_it_stop]
Edentate (v.) to strip away the authority of a subordinate; edentated (adj.) to be in a condition of powerlessness.  (From the Latin for "toothless") [meaningofhaste]
Fara-chute - Helpful device for Gondorian soldiers hijacked by Nazgul.  [Rosie]

Faraholic (adj.) Addicted to the youngest son of Denethor.  [Rosie]
Faralip (n.) The bottom lip in state of trembling and protrusion. [Rosie]
Faraloyalty (n.) the never ending readiness to vote for Faramir on TORC despite the hostility of envious co-posters  [lhaewin]
faramecium (n.) a microscopic organism in the Gondorian water supply that may account for the general fine appearance of the male population--and possibly also for the persistent shortness of their unshaven facial hair (previously noted by keen observers of said population) [pengwyn]
Faramerriment (n.) delicious amusement that can be appreciated only by those who have read the books, seen the movies, followed the threads, adored the actor.... [pengwyn]
Farametric pressure (n.) A measure of how intensely a person daydreams about Faramir.
Faramiracle (n.) given virtually no help from the script, Mr. Wenham's performance nevertheless conveys to most of us the qualities of the Faramir we know and love  [pengwyn]
Faramiringue (n.) fluffy, frothy, insubstantial thoughts or fiction occasioned by you-know-who: not especially nutritious, but dang it goes down easy [pengwyn]
Faramirity (n.) eager or excessive desire, esp. to possess Faramir ; greed; avarice for david wenham memorabilia.
Mis's faramirity for news is legendary  [sh_wulff]
Faramirroring (v.) reproducing the mannerisms of Gondor's finest Ranger, a symptom of having watched certain LOTR scenes with extreme care and frequency [pengwyn]
Faramnheit (n.) Special temperature scale which starts at 98.6*, and keeps going up and up and up. Used to measure kcal given off by fangirls at ROTK showings. [make_it_stop]

*Or 37.0, for you Centigrade types
Faramoans (n.) the noise emitted by adoring members of the opposite sex who have been affected by Faramones. [Rosie]
Faramones (n.) a chemical substance that is produced by young Gondorians serving as a stimulus to adoring members of the opposite sex. [Rosie]
faramount (1) adj. - of crucial importance to Gondor, though seeming merely "sufficient" to certain misguided palantir-watchers; (2)n. - the horse that bore Faramir, or in some versions dragged him around [pengwyn]
farasmear (1) v. to attempt to blacken the reputation of the noble second son of Denethor; (2) n. result of firing arrows into an airborne fell beast that is hovering directly above the noble second etc.  [pengwyn]
Fara-trooper - Gondorian soldier often sent on secret missions [Rosie]
Father Brandnewdamien (n.) This fairly ordinary (though subtly gorgeous) young man beheld on a city bus one day a vision of a curly-headed being plucking a stringed instrument, and he was filled with joy. Thereafter he ministered to the well-being of anyone who entered the vehicle, and in fact for the rest of his life, to the great mortification of the flesh, he never left that bus again.  [pengwyn]
Father Dumbien (n.)  Father Damien's not-too-bright predecessor, who spent all the church funds on Pop Tarts and tried to start an island rugby league.  [make_it_stop]
Flecherous (adj.) One who lusts after flyblown colonial dandies with bowler hats and whips. [make_it_stop]
Fletcherized (adj.) To be firmly under the thumb of one's employer  [meaningofhaste]
FLuke (n.) Million to one chance of understanding certain movies. [Rosie]
Flynng (n.)  A short romance with a sexy bush ranger.  [make_it_stop]
Foulamir (n.) Faramir's loudmouthed, crude, vulgar brother. [make_it_stop]
Freewhelan (adj.) moving/functioning freely, generally in a shambolic fashion.  [Rosie]
Garden of Eden (n.) a savage paradise of mustached temptation. Or it would be paradise, if the apple didn't attract so many fruit flies. [make_it_stop]
Gettin' Trapezoidal (n., Aust. colloq.) To get revenge on somebody in a manner completely out of proportion to the original offense.
The bank had foreclosed on his house and seized all his assets, so Bob "got trapezoidal" by going up to the bank building and kicking it.  [make_it_stop]
Lucchini (n.) a not at all suggestive vegetable whose value is difficult to determine; see Lukumber [pengwyn]
Luke-alike, a.k.a. Luke Ness "Monster" (n.) a male biped who gloriously resembles the unpredictable, fascinating, Gospel-wielding, red-haired cowboy of yore. Considered a mere myth of the Macedonian mountains (see also Sasq-Josh, Jonny Spityeti, and the Abdominal Snowenham--supposedly sighted just once in an L.A. gym), until the intrepid shewulff brought back cryptic reports and undeniable photographic evidence of his existence. (There is hope!)   [pengwyn]
Lukelele (n.) Small stringed Hawaiian instrument, popularized by Don "Stupid Ho"*, who never serenaded anyone without a good reason. [make_it_stop]

*okay, maybe I'm misremembering that....was "stupid whore" a line in the movie?
Lukemia (n.) a condition of severe blood loss the renders the patient seductively pale and thoughtful [pengwyn]
Lukumber (n.) a not at all suggestive vegetable whose value is difficult to determine; see Lucchini [pengwyn]
The Magic Fara-way Tree - Gondorian children's book based on the exploits of their favourite steward, who did things his way - and which often involved the White Tree. [Rosie]
Marry Whelan Ambition held by any woman anxious to hitch up with a man who needs looking after.... e.g. she's the Marry Whelan type   [Rosie]
Mascfara (n.) a substance applied to the eyelashes of Denethor's second son to enhance the appearance of his eyes. Like he needs it. [pengwyn]
Merekast (n.) one of a cluster of cute, amusing creatures who pop up on their hind legs periodically and make noises while Josh and Cyn are taking a breather [pengwyn]
Minivan Helsing (n.) Carl fathers a brood of 15 children and has to drive them all around to soccer, ballet, piano lessons, etc. [make_it_stop]
Molok-eye (n.) The sore eyes one experiences from watching Father Damien too much.
Sue's been watching Father Damien for 5 hours, she has molok-eye  [princessfaz]
Monocarl (n.) a single eyepiece, attached to a goofy headpiece, capable of greatly magnifying a beautiful eye for presumably scientific purposes [pengwyn]
Mulan Rouge (n.) To save his father from death in the army, a boy dresses up as a woman. The hills of China become incarnate with symphonic harmonies. [make_it_stop]
Murray Squealin' (n.) - High pitched sounds indicating that the post office has come through and delivered the Shane Maloney Box Set. [make_it_stop]
Murray Sue (n.) - In Shane Maloney fan-fiction, an original female character that is a thinly-veiled version of the author, whose sole narrative purpose is making out with Murray. [make_it_stop]
narcoleprosy (n.) addiction to Molokai. In earlier times this was known as Damien possession. [pengwyn]
orcward (n.) graceless or embarrassing; so ugly it might lead to outright wickedness: Faramir's mistrust of Gollum put Smeagol in an orcward position. [pengwyn]
The Preposition (n.) When a gang of brothers terrorizes a town with bad grammar, Captain Stanley makes one of the brothers a deal: either he diagrams a sentence properly, or Mikey will dangle like a participle. [make_it_stop]
Propositionposition (n.) The position you find yourself curled up in at the end of the movie, i.e. fetal, and behind the sofa. [make_it_stop]
Pure-gatory (n.) A state in which the souls of those who have died in grace must expiate their sins by wearing argyle sweaters and bouncing bricks off their foreheads.  [make_it_stop]
Russian Dull (adj.) Those bits and scenes of movies that are Davidless. [make_it_stop]
Salinity: The Noisy Flood (n.) The first draft of the documentary called for David to shout all of his narrative at the top of his lungs.  [make_it_stop]
Satisfriared  (adj.) the condition or feeling of a friar in the field who has heroically saved a damsel in distress and accepted her expressions of gratitude [pengwyn]
sarong (n.). 1) article of clothing worn by Josh in BTS (patio scene); 2) sarong? SO RIGHT!!!!!   [Rhetta]
Seven Deadly Cyns (n.) The seven deadly cyns, in order:

1. Bedhead
2. Sloth
3. Lust
4. Forgetting to pay the taxi driver
5. Drinking out of sundae glasses
6. Keeping the vibrator in the refrigerator
7. Not having a bathroom door, or walls (I'm pretty sure that's some sort of health code violation)    [make_it_stop]
Sexhausted  (v.) Josh and Cyn were totally sexhausted after a couple of days. [Rosie]
shorkinghorn (n.) 1. A brass orchestra instrument which gives off a snorting sound. 2. A smooth curved implement of plastic or metal, often inserted at the heel, to help put on a shorking that is too small. [make_it_stop]
spiteerie (adj.) Weird and supernatural, in a mullet-y sort of way.
It was a spiteerie coincidence that all nine Supreme Court justices happened to be wearing leopard-skin underwear beneath their robes that day.  [make_it_stop]
Sprague (n.) Suburb of Sydney popular with Czech immigrants who work for a rather nasty boss.  [Rosie]
Sprigue (n.) A small shoot or twig of a plant, prone to sudden stabbing fits.
Here, darling, I brought you a sprigue of heather - OW! OO! OUCH! AGGGH!    [make_it_stop]
steward (n.) toward or in the direction of stew: The telltale smoke from Sam's cooking fire drew the rangers steward.  [pengwyn]
Suspended Wenhimation (n.) cessation of movement and awareness of other stimuli while beholding Our Hero [pengwyn]
The 300 Towers  (n.) In the newest collector's extended extended edition, an entire movie is devoted to the thrilling Lighting of the Beacons.  [pengwyn]
The Molokai 300 (n.) Through his faith and sheer stubbornness, Father Damien brings to the colony its own Indycar event.   [pengwyn]
thoroughbrett (n.) Easily recognized by its handsome mane and tail, flaring nostrils and delicate fetlocks, this creature is unfortunately too high-strung and dangerous to keep as a pet. [pengwyn]
Three Dalis (n.) Eddie Harnovey is down to his last three surrealist paintings, but it doesn't matter anyway because reality has warped to the extent that watches are melting in trees. [make_it_stop]
Three Russian Dolls (n.)  Eddie loses his job as a mail-order bride. Every nine and a half years, Hugo Weaving chases him in a helicopter. At the end, everyone spasmodically dances the Hora to a klezmer version of "Love Will Tov U Mazletov".  [make_it_stop]
Through the Luke-ing Glass (colloq.) If you're disoriented and having trouble following the plot of a movie, you've probably gone through the lukeing glass. [make_it_stop]
Tran the Vestite (n.) A perfectly normal urge to don a crimson velvet pantsuit, write ridiculous libretti, and spy on Ewan McGregor.  [make_it_stop]
Ussiliath -- (exclamation) How we felt riding to a know eventuality. (Silly us for following that order!)   [Rhetta]
Van HelSing-Sing (n.) maximum security prison for vampires [make_it_stop]
Wenamby-pamby (n.) Spineless; indecisive about which movie to watch.
Quit being such a wenamby-pamby, and just PICK a Seachange episode already! [make_it_stop]

Wenhamicans  (n.)  1. Supporters of the Wenhamican party.  2. Outrageous behaviour from Fazgul - i.e. (from miffed partner) "Let's have less of those Wenhamicans."   [Rosie]
Wenhaemia (n.) patient becomes wan and weak from an insufficiently redhead-enriched diet of entertainment [pengwyn]
Wenhamnesia: Where am I? The last thing I remember is being struck by the good looks of a splendid redhead. [pengwyn]
Wenhimation (n.) (1) heightened energy and sparkle when discussing DW and related subjects; (2) the technique of manipulating and giving voice to small floppy puppets with one's family as an audience  [pengwyn]
Whelan and dealin' (colloq.) Trying to get lots of things done but tripping and putting one's head through the roof etc at the same time.  [princessfaz]
Where's Waldman? (n.)  Popular children's pastime, in which the object is to spot the UN officer lurking in the jungle forests of East Timor. [make_it_stop]

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