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Dessicated Coconut

Recommended Fiction

Faramir vs. Faramir
On the next Jerry Springer: "I DID NOT STEAL YOUR IDENTITY!"

Is Faramir sandy-haired, grouchy, and subject to temptation by the Ring?  Or is he raven-haired, canonical, and narratively inert?  Just who is this guy, anyway?
 
The subject of endless debate, speculation, and questioning, Faramir is one of Tolkien's most enigmatic and beloved characters.  Many readers identify with the less-favored son who redeems himself and finds love unlooked-for in the midst of battle and darkness.  Faramir has inspired a multitude of stories above and beyond what Tolkien wrote.
 
If you'd like to refresh your memory with Faramir's real story, as told by Tolkien and/or Peter Jackson, visit our Faramir page.
 
If you'd like to muddy your mind with alternate universes, what-ifs, slash, and parodies, go ahead and poke around in our trove of Faramir fan-fiction.  There's a story for every mood, from snarky to weepy.   Have fun, but heed the warnings and read at your own risk -- we are not responsible for offsite content.

Humor

Faramir's Diary by SueB. Funny as all get-out.  "Day 1 - Saw dead brother in boat. Day can only improve from there."

The Best Laid Plans  by Shieldmaidenofrohan, a.k.a. SMOR.  On their way to Edoras after the War of the Ring, Eomer and Faramir find themselves outwitted by hobbits.  Yes, you read that right.

Bored  by make_it_stop.  A blasé Citadel Guard, a bowl of peas, and two stubborn Stewards.  Sometimes the ability to read the hearts of men isn't such a good thing.

Birds and Bees  by Feana Puddlefoot.  Young Boromir and Faramir get "The Talk" from Denethor.  Denethor tries to remember where he's seen Faramir before.

Faramir Owner's Guide and Manual  by lalaithien.  Care, maintenance, and troubleshooting for your new Faramir Unit.

A Mudsummer Night's Dream   by SueB.  Chapter 1.  Faramir, Eomer, and Aragorn are charged with the task of clearing Orcs out of a vast wasteland of mud, puddles, mud, water, and more mud.    Luckily, they're bringing several changes of clothes along.  Non-slashy (despite the rich potential).

Hello? Two Kings by tbossjenn. Faramir confronts Peter Jackson over the changes to his character.
 
Lawd of Them Hills by PrincessFaz and make_it_stop.  Because our readers demand demented hillbilly LOTR crossover fiction. ...

Blood and Warm Blankets by Kielle. A classic parody of the slash genre. Eomer and Faramir find themselves taking refuge in a cave together...

Fairdinkum Faramir by Clairon. In which Denethor and Faramir discover they speak the same language. Literally.

A Tough Nut to Crack  by SueB.  The Official Fan Fic of the Dessicated Coconut Website.  Aragorn, Eomer, and Faramir receive a coconut as a gift from a Harad chieftain, and must figure out the secret of the mysterious hairy rock.  Is violence the answer?

Tolkien with God  by Princess of Ithilien.  God has a little chat with Tolkien in the garden, concerning the earthly unrest caused by Tolkien's neglecting to fill in the gaps with Faramir while he was alive.

Two's A Crowd  by SMOR.  Bookamir and Filmamir encounter one another in a tavern.  Will they mutually annihilate if they touch?  Can Bookamir explain to his new friend what a palantir is, and who that blonde woman was at the coronation?

Reasons 2 by Rosie26.  Extracts from Denethor's diary, which expose the REAL reasons behind his dislike for his seemingly angelic youngest son.

The Lost Tales of a Steward's Son  by Random-Battlecry.  If you've ever thought to yourself (or perhaps shrieked aloud on a crowded bus) that Faramir suffers from Middle Child "Jan Brady" syndrome....meet Denhamir, the youngest son who got left out of all the history books.  This will explain everything.
 
Random-Battlecry has also written a bunch of Van Helsing/Carl stories, including "Big Bang Theory", "His Life An Open Book", "Original Vampire Brides: Road Trip", and the dazzlingly silly "Van Helsing and the Village People".

Serious

The Only Jealousy of Éowyn  by Rose, of the Gypsie Rose writing duo at ff.net.  Short, but very poignant.  Éowyn discovers she's not the only woman in Faramir's heart.

A Game Of Chess by Altariel.  Widely considered a classic of the Faramir genre, and rightly so.  An epic tale of Faramir and Éowyn's troubled marriage.

Come to Harm  /  Made to Suffer  /  Home to Heal  The first two are by Clairon, the third is co-authored by Clairon and Raksha.  A trilogy, set in an alternate universe, starting about 5 years after the War of the Ring.  Part 1:  An unfortunate encounter with Saruman creates trouble for Faramir.  Part 2: Faramir wants his honor back.  And what kind of mischief has Saruman been up to in the meantime?  Part 3:  Faramir and Aragorn deal with the aftermath of Saruman's plot, along with mysterious stones, Blue Wizards, angry Easterlings, politics, and problem children.

Lachduliel  by quillon.  Dark and violent.  Faramir is tormented by orcs, then again by Denethor Dearest.

Ties Broken By A Sword  by athelas63. Very well-written, plausible portrayal of the family dynamic among Denethor, Boromir, and Faramir.

The Influence of Kindred Desires by Tanaqui. Eowyn and Faramir's wedding. Embeds the reader fully in the texture, sensory details, local customs, emotion, and romance of Tolkien's world. Graphic wedding night scene; but tastefully so.

Seven Stars and Seven Stones by QueenOfThorns. A series of beautifully written vignettes from Denethor's adult life.

Wooden Horses by Morithil. Very, very beautiful and lyrical.
 
Five Things That Never Happened To Faramir and Eowyn by Altariel.  Five short, completely heartbreaking "what ifs".
 
Conversations with the King and A Sense of Duty by athelas63.  The latter, in which Faramir comes to terms with an unexpected death, is a 2005 Mithril Awards semi-finalist.
 
Together by athelas63.  A beach love session between Faramir and Eowyn on their first anniversary results in new life (aka "From Here To Maternity")
 
Missing Mama by athelas63.  The first birthday after his mother's death weighs heavily on a grieving little boy...
 
Grief and Memory by athelas63.  Eowyn tries to keep Faramir from dwelling on memories of his brother.
 
An Evening Together by athelas63.  While teenage Boromir is away, Faramir and Denethor share some quality time.
 
Avoidance by Stefania.  A lovely exploration of Eowyn and Faramir's love story, told in flashback during one "perfect day".
 
 

Icky, but Strangely Compelling

Warning:  Major smut and dark subject matter.  By clicking on the links below, you agree that you are either 18, or lying through your teeth.  Dessicated Coconut does not officially read or condone any of these stories, since it is a matter of record that no sex ever occurred anywhere in Tolkien's Middle Earth.  Reproduction amongst the characters was handled discreetly, by pollination and budding.

So Small a Thing   by Dreamiflame. Boromir gets the Ring and keeps his little brother on a chain (though the story is light on Faramir content).  Ultra-creepy, dark, and slashy, with a chillingly matter-of-fact tone.

Mistress of Gondor by Aphrodite.  Graphic NC-17 filth with no socially redeeming value whatsoever.  Side effects may include blindness, insanity, and hair growth on the palms of your hands.

First Night by Liz.  A light, frothy menage á 'Mir.  Boromir pays a visit to a new bride to claim droit de seigneur privileges.  Faramir comes along as witness.

Entertainment by Mimine.  If your idea of entertainment is gay sibcest blackmail and voyeurism, then look no further.  No need to thank us!  Rated E for "euw".
 
The Faramir Fiction Archive, chock full of icky slash tales, such as Warriors of Gondor and To Serve The King.  Pick your poison; the stories are grouped by character pairing.  Now shoo!  Get out!  *shove*  And take a shower before you come back in here.
 
The Dark Part Of His Soul by athelas and clarion.  Seriously dark and XXX-rated.  Faramir falls into the clutches of a very, very mean Haradrim princess, who trains him for slavery.
 
Keep It Secret...Keep It Safe by Greymist.  Not being fond of RPS, I haven't read this one, but everybody keeps talking about it.  It has something to do with a nightmarish cult involving Sean Bean and Karl Urban, and David thinks he really is Faramir, or something.  Extra-angsty.  If you find yourself wanting more, there's a sequel at the same site called "Ghostrider".

Elf Slash Sarcasm by Tyellas.  This really belongs in humor, as it's one of the funniest things I've ever read, but unfortunately its NC-17 content relegates it to the "Icky But Strangely Compelling" category.  Every bad elf-fiction cliche is brilliantly skewered:  "He was clad in silken elvish robes of surpassing gorgeousness, midnight-blue cut velvet embroidered with trapunto trenellations, crystal briolettes, and silver star-shaped sequins, piped with silk of a blue that evoked the midnight sky, lined with silver leaf-patterned damask silk satin, the garment's train trailing elegantly behind him for three ells..."
 
Come to think of it, this story has nothing to do with Faramir whatsoever.  But I found it on a site with other Faramir stories.  Does that count?

 
Want to recommend a Faramir fic?  Send us an email!

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