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Presenting the "Retreat from Osgiliath" scene, re-written in AOL chatroom speak! Close
your eyes....abandon your preconceived notions of spelling....channel your inner 13-year-old girl....
-- make_it_stop
******
Soldier: kEwl! ay yo every1, itz teh wh1te r1d3r!!!1111
(teh Nazgul harsh a77 ov3r teh horsez
and stuFF)
Faramir: yo double-G Gandizz, th3 0rcz cheezed our defences. m0rd0r ownz0r3d us. d3y hav
m4d sk1llz!!!1 i c0uldnt f1ght w/ all th0se perps sWeat1ng me.
Irolas: ROTFL! d3n3th0r totally pr3diktd
dat, homeez.
Gandalf: pr3diktd, y3t couch-potatoed. dat st3w4rdz wack, man. hez a n00b.
[Gandalf
turnz. Faramir, liek, toT4lly seez Pippin. He starez at teh ho88it.]
Gandalf: LL Kool Phatamir...u
s33n sh0rt d00dz liek him b4?
Faramir: LMAO!
Pippin: j00 saw fro_D0 and
$aM?
Gandalf: w00t! thAt r0xorz my b0xorz. wh3re? wehn?
Faramir: in 1th1713n,
< 2 dayzzz ago. gaNd1zzz, th3yre r0ad-tripp1n 2 teh Morgul Vale. u can buy b33r w/o an id there. boo-yaa!
Gandalf:
ya. not 2 mention teh Pass uv Cirith Ungol.
Pippin: Yo, sup? wahtz worng?
Gandalf:
spill, st3w4rd-boy! gimee teh 411. or im a p0p a cap in you. word.
Faramir: whoops, parentz over
shoulder. gotta bounce
Gandalf: ok. c u l8r
Pippin: ciao4niao
Faramir:
; )
To be continued... (Writing this stuff makes my brain hurt.)
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