Dessicated Coconut

Australian Red Whines


Our first whine is an international classic. Hold it in your mouth and swish it around for a bit to savor the aroma:

Why can't we see (Gettin Square)(Sea Change)(other Region 4 film) in (the US)(Canada)(Europe)(other non-Region 4 Region)??

This exotic, expensive whine is layered with undertones of neoprene, mullet, and vegemite. Best served with lightly braised screencaps, Hollywood cheese, and a nice salad.


Next up, we have an everyday table whine, the vin ordinaire of TORC. This well-aged vintage comes from the Dec. 2003 harvest, an especially good month for whines:

I want my ROTK EE!!!!! NOW now now now now NOW!!

Pressed from the perspiring foreheads of 8,000,000 fangirls, it is strong and tart, with subtle hints of leather, linen, mentholyptus, and athelas. Outgoing, less subtle than its companions, this muscular whine demands to be paired with rich HoH photos that will stand up well to its assertive flavor.


Dense, dark, and difficult, this whine takes many forms:

Why is Denethor portrayed as a snarling lunatic?
Why was Bookamir sacrificed on the altar of character development?
How was the Black Breath handled in the film?
Were guerrilla tactics effective in defending Osgiliath from river attack?

A dense fara-merlot can linger on the palate for days. Best enjoyed communally, followed by a light, frothy swoon.


Finally, we have a light and sensual red whine, redolent of dandelions, ginger, mousse, daisies, and fresh hay:

Ohhhh..I want to scrunch that hair under my fingers!

The Beaujolazy is produced from the same type of grapes as the Carls Hair whine, but harvested in a sunnier, milder climate. Extremely refreshing, dangerously intoxicating, this sweet dessert whine should be served inside a snifter, at room temperature or higher. It harmonizes well with lighter photographic fare: red-carpet shots, candid stills, press conferences. Note that if stored improperly, it can become fizzy.

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