A Dave by any other name
Mood:  smelly

Since 300 came out, I'm learning to see allegory in all sorts of new places.  For example, did you know Spiderman 2 is really about the War of the Austrian Succession?

Or that Alexander is actually a metaphor for Congressman Edward Markey's courageous battle to get Daylight Savings Time moved back three weeks?

But let us not be distracted by snark.  We have serious work to do.  Today I've decided to list some other nicknames for David that I've encountered in my life.  In order to appreciate "Daisy" as a nickname, sometimes you have to step back and gain a little perspective from other Daves who haven't been quite as fortunate.

1.  Daisy.  Not just our dear dreamy Daisy W., of course, but Charles Dickens' David Copperfield, whom Steerforth dubs "Daisy" because of his simplicity and freshness and innocence.

2.  Bob Bitchin'.  This nickname belonged to a Dave I went to high school with.  He wore a blond crewcut, army fatigues, mirror sunglasses, and played the trumpet.  For some reason, he insisted that everyone (teachers and students alike) address him as Bob Bitchin' instead of his real name.  It seemed like a name more suited to a surfer than an aspiring staff sergeant ("SIR YES SIR BOB BITCHIN REPORTING FOR GNARLY WAVE DUTY SIR!"), but we all went along with it.  All the girls on the flag team loved him.

3.  Fetus.  Another Dave I went to high school with.  Nobody quite knows where this nickname came from, but it sort of fit.  Fetus was exceedingly high-strung and twitchy, with the metabolism of a Type A hummingbird.  He could usually be found orbiting around the school candy store.

4.  Diesel.  A Polish Dave I played softball with in an architectural league.  As the name suggests, he was a total cementhead.  "Diesel" liked to strut past the other team's bench and yell "BOO-YAH!!" in between innings.

5.  Dinky Davey Diddums.  My father had a talent for inventing weirdly embarrassing pet names for all of his kids, mostly based on cute things we said as babies.  Like secret Indian names, they must never be uttered aloud outside the family (this is the world wide interweb, after all), and so this is only a close approximation of my brother Dave's pet name.

Dad had a disconcerting habit of letting these pet names slip at the top of his lungs while dropping kids off at football practice, or standing in a long line for ice cream.

6.  Bob.  The fake name my brother Dave gave the guy at the desk when we went on the E.T. ride at Universal Studios.  (What is it with Daves and Bobs?)  At the end of the ride, E.T. was supposed to say goodbye to each person by name.  As we were exiting, E.T.'s computer voice chip got stuck and he snarled "Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye, Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooobbbbbb" at Dave in a menacing, Satanic-alien kind of growl.  We could hardly get off the bikes, we were laughing so hard.  To this day, I often say goodbye to my brother this way.

7.  The Thinking Woman's Crumpet.  Another excellent nickname for David.  The Brainy Gal's Eclair.  The Shrewd Dame's Croissant.  The Intellectual Filly's Cream Scone With Strawberries.  The list goes on.

So, whether it's Fetus, Diesel, Bob, or Daisy, remember that underneath them all is a man named for an Old Testament king, yearning to be loved for who he is.  Have you hugged a Dave today? 

Small aside: My own childhood nickname was "Sassafrass", which has a curiously Australian etymology, now that I think about it.  It started out as a name-shortening ("Sass"), then evolved into a plant.