Mood:
lazyWith Public Enemies on the immediate horizon, I think it would be appropriate to review a few etiquette tips for robbing banks. Attention to detail always greases the social gears and makes things go a little more smoothly.
#1: Don't stuff money spiked with exploding red dye down the front of your pants. It's hard to be inconspicuous with your crotch on fire.
#2: Don't write your demands on the back of a pay stub that has your name and address printed on it.
#3: A ski lift is not the smartest choice for a getaway vehicle. Ditto a bus. Ask yourself: What would Jesus drive, if Jesus robbed a bank and needed a fast getaway car? (If he were a little bit gay, he'd have a Mazda Miata, or one of those modern Volkswagen bugs with the big flower decals).
Corollary to #3: Don't photograph yourself with the loot afterwards.
#4: Don't wear a fake robot suit that weighs 300 pounds, unless you're trying to incapacitate the security guards with laughter.
#5: The following do not make good holdup weapons: bananas, zucchinis, breadsticks, beer bottles, wooden table legs, fake hand grenades, live chickens inside paper bags. In fact, rather than burst in to the lobby yelling and waving a bunch of Tommy guns and upsetting the tellers, why not just hack into the ATM?
#6: Speaking of ATMs, does anyone else's ATM make a noise like the Woody Woodpecker laugh when it's dispensing cash? I swear, the little gears go "whirr....bzzt....ha ha ha HA ha" as it spits out the receipt saying there's eight dollars left in the account.
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Saw the new "Star Trek" movie last week (Mr. DC's idea...I can't tell a phaser from a warp drive, and as far as I'm concerned, Klingons are what I find stuck to the cat's "starboard bow" after a careless litterbox session). I didn't even recognize Eric Bana as the captain of the evil spaceship, he was so made-up and tattooed. But Eomer made a pretty good Dr. McCoy.
