make!it!stop!
Mood:
on fire
Now Playing: Peruvian nose fiddle
![](ca_faramir014.jpg)
Behold. A Faramir Topps card.
Stare at it. Feel the urge to collect, surging through the veins of your forehead.
You want it. You need it. You will do anything to possess it.
The last time I felt the urge to collect anything, I was 10 years old and trying to amass a complete set of "Star Wars" cards. Every kid in the school was ga-ga for them. Recess was a huge trading bazaar; instead of playing kickball and foursquare like normal kids, we huddled under the jungle gym exchanging duplicates and bartering for missing cards. Exchange rates fluctuated wildly: three R2D2s might get you a Han Solo at lunchtime, but only a pair of Tusken Raiders by the time the bell rang.
Every last cent I could scrape together went towards buying Star Wars cards. Each new pack was eagerly opened and thumbed through, looking for certain cards, chewing the revolting cardboard gum, and lowering the eventual resale value of my parents' house by plastering Jawa stickers all over my bedroom door.
After weeks and weeks of dedicated collecting, I had acquired every single card, except for #63. (The card number is still burned into my brain. I can see it with my waking eyes.) #63, a picture of Luke Skywalker, was particuarly coveted by the girls in our class, and thus hard to come by.
With the end in sight, my buying frenzy increased. Feverishly I raked leaves, babysat, walked dogs, washed windows, sold pitchers of lemonade along the river to thirsty canoers, scanned the sidewalks for dropped pennies and nickels. Pack after pack of Star Wars cards was purchased, ripped open, and thrown down in disgust, refusing to yield up the coveted #63.
One day, my older sister and I stopped into the local candy store on the way home from school. On a whim, she bought a pack. You guessed it: #63 was the first card in the pack.
I made the classic mistake of falling to my knees and begging for the card. Had I kept my cool and feigned disinterest, she probably would have given it to me outright. As it was, the asking price immediately shot up well into two figures. I had to mortgage sleeping rights to the dog, TV channel selection privileges, dish duties for a month, and all my future Halloween candy, as well as sing the "My Older Sister Is The Greatest" song right there in front of the store.
After two solid hours of torment, she relented, and let me have the card. It was only a small square of cardboard, but oh, the satisfaction. The sense of completion. The blisters, the aching back, the complete loss of dignity: all worth it. I had set a goal, and accomplished it. I spread all the cards out on my bedroom floor and just looked at them. Nothing missing. A whole entire set, assembled with my own sweat and toil and tears.
Two weeks later, Topps announced that they were coming out with Series Two Star Wars cards.
There is probably a deep moral lesson in all of this, but it eludes me.
Posted by dessicatedcoconut
at 10:43 PM EDT