Tae Kwon Frodo (n.) Fighting style characterized by one of the combatants being invisible.

 

telefrodo lens (n.) Special macro equipment used by Peter Jackson for closeups of the Ring and Elijah Wood's eyes.

 

tengwarped (adj.) Obsessed with Elvish.

You translated "The Bridges of Madison County" into Quenya? That is so tengwarped.

 

thain-in-the-butt (n.) A Shire ruler who lords it over others.

That Pippin – he’s been such a thain-in-the-butt ever since he got back from gallivanting all around Middle Earth.

 

theodead (adj.) A character who has really, truly bought the farm and WILL NOT be coming back to life, no matter how many eagles and face-lickings you throw at him/her. There's "dead", and then there's theodead.

 

Theodenethorongilgaladrielessaruman (n.) A character whose identity you cannot recall after reading the book, because his/her name has merged with someone else's in your memory banks.

That girl elf...What was her name again? Arawyn? Farnagorn? Eorwen?

 

theodent (n.) A crater-shaped depression caused by a falling horse.

"And I got this theodent in the Crimea," said Lord Threepwood-Fotherington-Smith-Smythe, pointing to a sizable indentation in his calf.

 

Theodreads (n.) Clumped rasta hair obtained after years of lying very still in rainy mud.

 

There (n.) The inspiring tale of a plucky hobbit who goes off on a burglary adventure, gets turned into a charcoal briquette, and is never heard from again.

 

thingol (adj.) Thomeone who ith thtill thearching for a thignificant other.

 

thoronguilt (n.) Pangs of unease at having inserted yourself deceitfully into someone else's court so as to pave the way for someday ousting him (or her).

 

tolkeening (v.) 1. Wails of complaint by purists. 2. Wails of complaint by revisionists.

 

tolkien head (n.)  A spokesperson on TV who keeps blabbing on and on about the significance and impact of the books.

Oh, let's fast forward through the tolkien heads. I wanna see the bigatures get blown up.

 

tooksidermy (n.) The science of stuffing, mounting, and displaying hobbits.

"The trick to tooksidermy, boy," said Lurtz to Lurtz Jr., "is ya gotta put 'em in a natural pose. Don't put fangs on 'em an' have 'em dunkin' a basketball."

 

treebeardbeard (n.) An Ent masquerading as an Entwife.

 

Treesoulpatch (n.) The hip Ent.

 

 

umbarge (n.) The boat on which the Corsairs sailed up the Anduin. (v.) To join in a fight (or a task) when it is nearly over, and take the lion's share of the credit.

Nika waited till Thaddeus had washed everything except the cheese grater before she umbarged into the kitchen and offered to help.

 

Undeep (adj.) Ununununshallow.

 

the Un-End of all things (n.) one of the many fade-outs and epilogues in Return of the King

 

Unfairimir (n.) The gruff, mildly jerky Ranger who replaced Faramir in the second movie.

 

Ungueliant (n.) Balm applied to spider bites.

 

Urban Sprawl (n.) Eomer, after falling off Firefoot.

 

urbanished (adj.) Buh-bye, Eomer! To be forcibly removed from a room by 90 armed guards who punch you in the stomach as you struggle, yell, and strain.

"Look, bub," the bouncer said. "We'll give you a choice. Either you walk out of this bar under your own power, or we urbanish you."

 

uruk high (n.) (1) Odd feeling of euphoria that accompanies gore and killing.

As Mohandas slashed and hacked his way along the Paths of the Dead with his Playstation, he felt an Uruk High coming on.

 

 

valarva (n.) Morgoth as a baby.

Awww...isn't that the cutest little valarva! Goochie, goochie, goochie-- *BLAM*

 

Vidirony (n.) Renting "Return of the King", then forgetting to return it.

 

Viggan (n.) One who prefers tofu/CGI actors over cruelly exploited human actors.

"No thanks," said Frank, holding up one hand to reject the proferred DVD. "I'm a Viggan. I don't swoon for anything that was once alive."

 

viggorous (adj.) To engage in a task so intensely and wildly that injuries result, e.g. chipped teeth, broken toes, etc.

 

 

wake up in Rivendell (v.) To land on your feet, after a long series of bad and turbulent events.

Your brother's constantly in trouble with the law, but he always seems to wake up in Rivendell.

 

warg!? (interj.) Exclamation of dismay at revisionist plot twists.

As Frodo told Sam to go home, there was a strangled cry of "Warg--??" from the row in front of me.

 

wenhuminahumina (interj.) Low buzzing, drooling sound made by the female portion of a LOTR audience during closeups of the second son of the Steward.

 

westernessting (v.) Furnishing a cozy summer home on the isle of Akallabeth.

C’mon, honey, let’s go to Pottery Barn and check out the numenorean wicker. I feel like westernessting.

 

westfold (v.) 1. To cave in under overwhelming opposition. 2. When making a bed, to tuck in only the side of the sheet facing away from the wall.

Young lady, don't think for one minute you're getting away with a westfold. Go right back upstairs and do the eastfold!

 

when Peter Jackson films "The Hobbit" (colloq.) When hell freezes.

"Oh, sure, the Red Sox will win the World Series," said Melvin. "When Peter Jackson films 'The Hobbit'."

 

when Peter Jackson films "The Silmarillion" (colloq.) When hell freezes, and pigs fly through it on broomsticks eating pink kiwi fruit.

 

wikibble (n.) Angmar chow.

"Here, witchy witchy-poo!" called Sauron, shaking the bag. "Come and get your wikibble!"

 

Woses (plural n.) Womantic wed fwowers twaditionally pwesented to wuved ones by the Dwunedain.

 

 

yEnta (n.) Severely underemployed tree matchmaker.

 

Yrch! (interj.) Plural of "yuck".

As Gollum pulled the worm out of the bog and sucked it down, the theater resounded with yrch.

 

zygoteleaf (n.) Embryo with a genetic predisposition towards gatekeeping and ruffianism.

 

Z.Z. Weathertop (n.) Popular facial-hair style involving a long, decrepit stone beard and a bald head.