
WELLINGTON, NZ MAR. 3 "Lord of the Rings" director Peter Jackson today announced his plan to re-master the Extended
Edition of Return of the King to exclude all the non-Faramir scenes. "As we made the trilogy, it became increasingly clear
that Faramir was really the main character," Jackson stated. "All the screen time devoted to Frodo, Sam, and Aragorn was slowing
down the narrative pace. We wanted to skew towards a more female demographic."
Shooting for the new version began last
July. Jackson revealed that a preview of the Extended Edition will be released this Friday. The re-mastered movie will contain
the following new scenes:
1. In the basement archives of Minas Tirith, Faramir finds the One Ring filed under
E -- "Evil" 2. On his lunch break, Faramir rides over to Mt. Doom and chucks the Ring in. 3. Boromir gets the credit
for saving Middle Earth; Denethor names all the streets in Minas Tirith after his elder son. Hilarious confusion ensues among
the populace. 4. Faramir broods fetchingly atop the parapets
5. FLASHBACK I: Gandalf teaches young Boromir how to
make fireworks 6. FLASHBACK II: Boromir practices in the courtyard 7. FLASHBACK III: The White Tree meets its demise 8.
FLASHBACK IV: Faramir gets the blame
9. Laundry Day at the Forbidden Pool 10. Faramir oils his sword 11. Faramir
oils his sword some more
12. FLASHBACK V: Faramir oils his sword (in slow motion)
13. Kung Fu Lessons 14.
My, It's Hot In Here
15. FLASHBACK VI: The brothers play a practical joke on Denethor 16. FLASHBACK VII: Faramir
is grounded for life
17. Faramir meets Eowyn as they reach for the same cantaloupe at the market 18. Pointless close-ups
of Faramir's lips 19. A witty exchange of knock-knock jokes
20. FLASHBACK VIII: Faramir's First Shave 21. FLASHBACK
IX: Faramir's First Visit To The Houses Of Healing
22. Faramir brushes his hair obsessively 23. Faramir sunbathes
atop of the Tower of Echthelion, acquiring weird tan lines in the shape of a tree with seven stars
24. FLASHBACK X:
Brotherly Advice About Girls: Show Your Quality 25. FLASHBACK XI: A Blind Date With Fidwis 26. FLASHBACK XII: No, You
Idiot, I Said Show Her Your QUALITY
27. A picnic with Eowyn 28. Faramir declares his love for Eowyn via an interpretive
dance 29. Wedding in Vegas! 30. Boromir Arrested 31. Faramir Finally Gets The Top Bunk Bed
The Extended
Edition will also include these special features:
1. Commentary by David Wenham. Choice of Aussie/Texan/Belgian
accents, or intermittent moaning. 2. Behind The Scenes: A Look At Faramir's Scars, Birthmarks, And Tattoos 3. Peter
Jackson Official Apology For The "Clockwork Orange" Scene 4. David Wenham Reads The Phone Book
*Explanatory note: Fidwis (short for "Faramir is doomed - who is SHE?") is Minas Tirith's female equivalent of Figwit
the elf. She's visible in the crowd as Faramir rides off to retake Osgiliath.
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