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Pope Joan (2009) Dir. Sonke Wortmann. With John Goodman and Johanna Wokalek.
Plot Synopsis: A 9th century woman born in the German city of Ingelheim disguises
herself as a man and rises through the Vatican ranks, aided by Gerold, a Frankish knight who serves as her mentor and lover.
Character: Gerold
Notes:
Drool Factor: unrated
Screentime: unrated
Nerdometer: unrated
Content: unrated
Memorable Quotes:
Davidity: unrated
Availability:
Public Enemies (2009) Dir. Michael Mann. With Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, and Stephen
Graham.
Plot Synopsis: The Feds try to take down notorious American gangsters John
Dillilnger, Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd during a booming crime wave in the 1930s.
Character: Harry "Pete" Pierpont
Notes:
Drool Factor: unrated
Screentime: unrated
Nerdometer: unrated
Content: unrated
Memorable Quotes:
Davidity: unrated
Availability:
Australia (2008) Dir. Baz Luhrmann. With Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Bryan Brown, and Jack Thompson.
Plot Synopsis: On the eve of World War II, Lady Sarah Ashley, an English aristocrat, travels
to Northern Australia to confront her husband, whom she suspects of cheating. Finding him dead when she arrives, she
reluctantly teams up with a rough-hewn cattle drover and a local Aborigine boy in order to protect her ranch, Faraway
Downs, from the scheming cattle baron next door. They drive the cattle 1,500 miles to Darwin (falling in
love and forming a makeshift family along the way), but are torn asunder by the war and the Japanese bombing attack on Darwin.
Along the way, they are stalked by Lady Sarah's own station manager, a sleazy, land-obsessed, ginger-haired
fellow bent on seizing Faraway Downs and taking over the title of cattle king for himself.
Character: Neil Fletcher
Notes:
Drool
Factor: 
Nerdometer:  Cattle rustling, well-poisoning, fly abuse, greed, scheming, and all-around moustache-twirling evil
earn Fletcher our lowest ranking on the Nerdometer.
Memorable Quotes: "Pride's not power. Yeah yeah yeah."
"She won't last. A delicate English rose in the outback. You with me?"
"Enjoy the ride, sweetheart."
"Did you see big, fat cattle crossing Marmont River? Or were they just Carney cattle on the other side of
the river having a drink? One more word and I'll beat your mother."
"You tell great, big, tall tales, don't you?"
"Kimberley spear. Glass-tipped. Real collectors' items. Oh! You're missing one."
"You missed the boat, sunshine."
"Your land? My family worked this property for three generations. My father died making people
like you rich. Faraway Downs belongs to me. Just like you believe your little creamy belongs to you."
"Been a pleasure working for you. Reallll pleasure."
"Once you've signed the contract, I'll get one of the brothers to take you out to the mission on the sloop.
You can be happily reunited with your little creamy."
Davidity: A-. But it's a dark, twisted sort of Davidity.
Availability: All regions.
Plot Synopsis: Set in war-ravaged China during the late 1930s, The Children
of Huang Shi tells the story of a young English journalist, George Hogg, who leads a group of sixty orphaned children almost
a thousand miles across snowbound mountains to safety at the edge of the Mongolian desert. Along the way, he is
helped by a Chinese partisan, an Australian nurse, and an English aristocratic war survivor.
Character: Barnes
Notes:
Drool Factor:
Screentime: 
Nerdometer:  Barnes might be hard-bitten and potty-mouthed, but he's not particularly amoral.
Content: 
Memorable Quotes: "Set your watch an hour ahead, Daisy. We're
on Tokyo time now."
Davidity: C+.
Availability: All regions.
Married Life (2008) Dir. Ira Sachs. With Pierce Brosnan, Rachel McAdams, Chris Cooper, Patricia
Clarkson.
Plot Synopsis: 1940s period drama. An adulterous man plots to kill his wife in order
to spare her the humiliation of a divorce.
Character: John O'Brien
Notes:
Based on the novel Five Roundabouts to Heaven, by John Bingham
Drool Factor:
Screentime:
Nerdometer: O'Brien isn't really evil, he's just a slighly sleazy hedonist and womanizer.
Content:     One of the more memorable entrances of David's acting career. I stuck the cookie in here because he
doesn't toss them, but he does ask for them.
Memorable Quotes: "The Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold."
"I could do with a cup....and some cookies if you've got 'em, Pat."
"It's not a flirtation."
Richard: "Would you like to hear my thoughts?"
John O'Brien: "Please."
Davidity: C+. Not the most Davidy of movies.
Availability: All regions.
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| Dilios |
300 (2007) Dir. Zack Snyder. With Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Rodrigo Santoro, Vincent Regan, Michael
Fassbender.
Plot Synopsis: Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, 300 tells the story of the Battle
of Thermopylae, in which King Leonidas and 300 Spartans fight to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army at
the Hot Gates. Facing insurmountable odds, with their position betrayed by an outcast hunchback named Ephialtes, the
Spartans' courageous sacrifice inspires all of Greece to rise up and unite against their Persian enemy.
The story is narrated by a Spartan soldier named Dilios, who recalls the years of harsh training and sacrifice that
led them to that moment. Wounded in battle, Dilios is sent back to Sparta by King Leonidas to tell their glorious story
to the outside world and rouse their countrymen to action.
Character: Dilios
Nerdometer: Hm. Dilios is a good guy, but nerdy he ain't. (All the poindexters lived in Athens,
according to Herodotus.)
Memorable Quotes:
"The wolf begins to circle the boy. Claws of black steel—Fur as the dark night ... Eyes glowing red—jewels
from the pit of hell itself. The giant wolf sniffing... savouring the scent of the meal to come. It is not fear that grips
him... only a heightened sense of things. Cold air in his lungs... wind-swept pines moving against the coming night. His hands
are steady... his form perfect."
[Narrating: as Leonidas bids farewell to his wife] "Goodbye my love". He doesn't say it. There's no room for softness,
not in Sparta. No place for weakness. Only the hard and strong may call themselves Spartans. Only the hard. Only the strong.
"They shout and curse, stabbing wildly; more brawlers than warriors. They make a wondrous mess of things. Brave amateurs...they
do their part."
Leonidas: Dilios, I trust that scratch hasn't made you useless.
Dilios: Hardly, my Lord. It's just an
eye. The gods saw fit to grace me with a spare.
"The enemy outnumber us a paltry three to one! Good odds for any Greek. This day we rescue a world from mysticism and tyranny,
and usher in a future brighter than anything we could imagine. GIVE THANKS, MEN! TO LEONIDAS, AND THE BRAVE 300! TO VICTORY!"
Davidity: A-. Not a TON of David. But it's a darn good film.
Availability: All regions.
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